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Sonic Forces Rewritten: Chapter 1

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  • Sonic Forces Rewritten: Chapter 1
• Sonic Forces Rewritten: Chapter 1

• Sonic Forces Rewritten: Chapter 1

  Infinite > 06-22-2020, 05:16 PM

  So I posted a fanfic which is Sonic Forces Rewritten. I have decided to go a little more in-depth with this story by adding a few more characters, dialogue (not too familiar with that so bear with me), and ideas for levels. So here we go! Sonic Forces Rewritten Chapter 1: The Birth of Infinite.
  
  
  

  Chapter 1

  The Birth of Infinite

  The sun rises on a new day in the town of Gestalt awakening the citizens that live there. Acton the Jackal and is greeted by his room. The wall has a large flag of Gestalt. As he leaves, he looks at a vase filled with snapdragon flowers and smiles. 
  Once he is outside his house, he sees children, both human and Mobian, playing a game of tag and people walking on the street (there are no cars in this town since it’s pretty small and isolated from the rest of the world). He looks at a butte that is outside of the town and heads there. As he is heading there, he sees a little, female, yellow rabbit named Mirage. Acton smiles and heads to Mirage.
  Mirage is selling flowers as usual. She has just sold a rose to a human. and once she sees Acton, she smiles and hugs him. 
  “Want another snapdragon?”
  “Yes please.”
  “That’ll be 15 rings.”
  Acton gives Mirage a ring with the number 20 on it and another with a 10. Mirage smiles and hugs him again.
  “So how is your mother?” Acton asks Mirage.
  She replies saying that her mother is still sick in bed trying to recover. Her face then is filled with determination and she says that “Tomorrow, I’ll have enough money to afford a real doctor to help Mom.”
  “Well,” Acton pets Mirage (she giggles), “good luck!” As he leaves to the butte, Mirage waves goodbye and continues selling flowers. 
  As Acton is hiking the hill, he looks at his surroundings and sees flickies, chipmunks, and rabbits. Once he reaches the top, he lies down and takes a nap with the wind blowing through the grass and flowers. 
  As he is napping, he smells smoke and he instantly gets up and searching where the smell is coming from. He notices the smoke is coming from a fire in Gestalt. He rushes to the town and thus begins Act 1 of the first level of Sonic Forces.
  Both acts are pretty linear compared to the rest of the game. My reasoning behind this is because he needs to get to that town no matter what. These two acts are also the tutorials for this game. Neither of these acts has badniks (that would really cause suspicion on Eggman once Acton meets him. More on that later). Both acts also have five red rings to collect. 
  The first act takes place in the hill filled with obstacles such as trees to jump over and widowmakers. Acton’s moveset is similar to Sonic’s but he cannot boost. He can do homing attacks which you (the player) can practice on branches to access higher levels. The goal of Act 1 appears at the bottom of the butte where you can see the burning town in the distance. Collecting all five red rings lets you unlock a costume for Acton which is Persona 5’s Joker. 
  The second act takes place immediately afterward. You now are in the burning city where you dodge debris and fire. This act will also introduce grind rails to the player (didn’t make any sense to put them in the first act). This one’s a bit wider than the first act with more paths leading to the docks. The goal of Act 2 appears at the docks where you see a blue character (you only see him from behind). Collecting all five red rings in this act lets you unlock an illustration of Gestalt.
  As Acton reaches the docks, observing the damage that is going on, a blue hedgehog stands laughing and he turns around facing you. 
  “What have you done?!” Acton demands the spiky figure. “Who are you?!”
  The hedgehog responds chuckling.”What you see is what you get! Just a guy who loves some entertainment!” He grins menacingly. 
  Acton then charges at the hedgehog and the boss battle begins. 
  Since this is the first boss battle in the game, it’s pretty simple. All the boss will really do is run and homing attack (this will probably be similar to the Sonic boss in Sonic Adventure). Unlike the acts which aren’t graded, bosses are graded depending on how many rings you have and how quickly you beat them. A is equivalent to five red rings. B is four. C is three. D is two. E is one. F is nothing. Getting an A-rank in this boss fight lets you unlock a new costume for Acton which is Infinite.
  After the boss fight, the blue hedgehog will flee. 
  As Acton looks around, he starts to worry about what might’ve happened to Mirage. He hurries to where she would usually sell her flowers and finds her basket is on the ground. He then hurries to her house but it’s all burned down. He grabs the snapdragon he bought today promises to avenge her and everyone in Gestalt. 
  His ears twitch and Acton hears someone crying. He sees a big man wearing red and black clothing, huge glasses, and an outrageously large mustache. When Acton comes to talk to him, the man immediately apologizes to him that he failed to stop Sonic, the blue hedgehog Acton faced earlier, from destroying the city. For years, he has tried to stop Sonic from causing destruction but has constantly failed. He offers the jackal a way to help him stop Sonic. Acton agrees and introduces himself. The man then introduces himself as Doctor Ivo Robotnik but everyone calls him Eggman. 
  The game then comes to Eggman’s lab full of tubes containing flickies. As Eggman walks toward the back of the lab, a large tube is shown containing Acton but with a gem in his chest and a mask that is glowing red. 
  Once Eggman reaches the tube and looks at it, he says, “It’s time, Infinite,” and then starts laughing. 
  An army of robots is then shown standing on a hill facing a city. And Infinite in front of the army looking at the city. He runs down the hill and the robots follow and thus begins the second level of the game but as Infinite. 
  There is only one Act for this level and it’s mainly because of how large it’s gonna be. I took a lot of inspiration from the Shadow the Hedgehog gameplay (I actually have never played the game but I got some ideas from watching a bit). The level is the city Infinite is now in. The sky is a hellish red. There are three areas in this level that is divided by the checkpoints. There aren’t any enemies besides humans and mobians trying to run away from you. There are some obstacles you can avoid but there aren’t many. Infinite is pretty simple to control. You can shoot dark red cubes at the citizens. You can also target multiple targets at the same time and shoot dark red spikes at them. Each area is made up of 10 citizens making it a total of 30 in the level. If you reach a checkpoint, you can teleport to previous checkpoints or the beginning of the level. Once you reach the ending, you can teleport to any of the checkpoints and the ending if you want to return there. When you select the checkpoints, it will list what areas you missed some victims and how many. If you can’t find the citizens you are missing, you can follow the sound of their screams to find them. That being said, you don’t even need to kill them if you don’t want to. It doesn’t affect the story. I wanted to emphasize in Infinite’s levels how powerful and unstoppable you are. The ending of the level is in the middle of the city. Killing all the citizens unlocks a few songs of the stages you’ve played and Infinite’s theme. 
  After beating the level, the game gets to a cutscene of citizens screaming and running from Infinite. There is this one woman who tripped and is trying to crawl away but she looks at Infinite who is right in front of her. He takes off his mask but it’s just an empty face. Then, red eyes appear with a very wide white smile. She gasps and she tries getting up and running away. Infinite stands there laughing but then face goes toward the running woman and turns into a spike impaling her. 
  The game then shows what it looks like outside the city. The sky is blue but half the city is on fire. The half that is on fire is also surrounded by a dark red forcefield. Sonic and Tails are shown on a cliff looking at the city and they run toward it. When they reach the city, they see through the forcefield people passing out or fainting and Infinite simply walking through the city doing nothing as the robots follow him, destroying the city. The two go through the forcefield and immediately their surroundings change. The sky is scarlet and, instead of fainting, it seems more like the citizens are getting killed. Infinite now seems to be shooting lasers, orbs, and spikes out of nowhere. Sonic asks what’s going on. Infinite notices Sonic and says, “Ah, so we meet again. You are now under the influence of the Phantom Ruby. Everything you see is an illusion…..but it’ll feel as real as it gets.” Sonic and Tails then fight Infinite. Sonic attempts to homing attack Infinite but he quickly dodges Sonic and grabs him by the neck. Tails then throws a box at Infinite as the box approaches Infinite, the box explodes into a bunch of rings. Infinite raises his arm and the rings stop in their path and go after Tails damaging him. As Infinite is holding Sonic’s neck, he says “This is what you deserve for taking everything from me.” He shows Sonic the destruction of the city. “With this power, I will return the favor tenfold!” Infinite then turns his hand to a hammer and knocks out Sonic. Tails tries swinging his tail to attack Infinite but he grabs his tails and swings him around and throws him at a building. As Infinite drags Sonic, Tails too hurt to do anything, begs Infinite to leave Sonic alone. Infinite ignores him and continues to drag Sonic away from the city. Tails then passes out. The game then shows what is happening in reality. Sonic and Tails are shown knocked out, lying on the floor. The robots were about to continue destroying the city but Infinite tells them to leave them alone for now. 
  “We have what we need for now. We will first teach them fear and despair now that their “hero” is gone.” He looks at Tails. “This one especially seems attached to Sonic, let’s let him live as well knowing he failed to save his friend.”  
  The robots grab Sonic, along with everyone they knocked out during the attack, and leave.
  
  
  
  
  As I was writing this, I realized I made Infinite basically like Count Bleck from Super Paper Mario. A guy who has lost everything so he wants to destroy everything. Just wanted to mention that.

• RE: Sonic Forces Rewritten: Chapter 1

  SCS > 09-12-2020, 02:20 AM

  @"Infinite"
  
  (Note: In this post I will focus more on feedback for the writing component of your Sonic Forces Rewritten project, as opposed to feedback on the underlying ideas. I provided feedback on the underlying ideas in this associated thread.)
  
  I really love Chapter 1 of your fanfiction! You employed excellent use of imagery to really build out the setting of the story. I feel like you did a great job with this in your Mighty and Ray Origin Story fanfiction, but as I mentioned in my post there I would love to see even more comprehensive descriptions of setting, characters and action / events, including even more imagery. I feel like you did an even better job with imagery and setting descriptions in Chapter 1 of your Sonic Forces Rewritten fanfiction, but you did great in both! 
  
  I really love the descriptions of Acton's setting, the town of Gestalt. I especially enjoy the emotional connection built between Acton and Gestalt beyond the surface level imagery itself: it truly drives home the tragedy of what is to come. Especially the precious interaction with Mirage: it definitely really hit me in the feels seeing what happened to her later after that strong emotional connection between them was established. So much so that as I was reading I kept hoping for hints that Mirage was not actually dead, but that this was all trickery and illusions caused by Eggman using the Phantom Ruby! I always love when stories have such an emotional impact on me, as it makes me care with much greater depth about the characters, their world, the depths of their tragedies and the heights of their joys.
  
  I also feel like your depiction of the evil "Sonic" (the fake illusion generated by Eggman's use of the Phantom Ruby) responsible for the destruction of Gestalt is particularly spectacular. This part also hit me in the feels, because of how effective the technique you used is. Namely, how you took an iconic line from Sonic, maintained the same core substance and style, yet inverted it to produce an evil analogue of a Sonic-like character and personality. I immediately felt slightly creeped out by the evil Sonic as a result of this technique, and that is always a sign for me of a particularly well-written villain (although I know it is an illusion in this case, the same logic applies to the effectiveness of the writing and story). The way you wrote this was extremely clever and effective!
  
  In terms of my thoughts on the gameplay descriptions, there are some aspects with which I agree and others with which I disagree, but I discussed all of that in my other post so I will digress from that here. In summary though I do really love a lot of your ideas here, and I think they are very creative and interesting!
  
  On the note of constructive criticism for how to make the writing component even better, I would note the same suggestions regarding formatting as described in my post in your Mighty and Ray Origin Story thread. Also, regarding imagery, one suggestion that comes to mind is to vary word choice a little more: like for example, I think "hellish red" is definitely an effective descriptor and helps set the overall mood and intensity of the piece, but is used a second time in the story. Not a big deal by any means, but keeping repitition of imagery (or any key words/phrases in general) as minimal as possible can help keep it more effective, and lead to even better imagery and descriptions overall when you make a point to vary them using different word choice and imagery. For example, instead of using "hellish red" the second time you could think of a different way to convey a similar idea, which broadens the imagery portfolio across the piece.
  
  In conclusion, I really loved and enjoyed reading Chapter 1, and I very much look forward to Chapter 2!   Thank you so much for sharing these with us, and I can't wait to read more! I really hope that you get the opportunity to play Sonic Adventure 2, Shadow the Hedgehog and Sonic Heroes as soon as possible, as I very much look forward to reading more of your story! Also, if I missed any aspect or if there is anything you would like additional feedback on, or anything you would like to discuss, please don't hesitate to let me know and I will be more than happy to discuss further.

• RE: Sonic Forces Rewritten: Chapter 1

  Infinite > 09-13-2020, 11:46 AM

  I'm happy that you enjoyed it so much and I appreciate all the advice you gave me. I'm glad you liked Mirage (because I possibly have some plans with her later in the story) and the line I used for evil Sonic. I also fixed that hellish red suggestion. I replaced the second "hellish red" with "scarlet."
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