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I really love your origin story for Mighty and Ray. I think it's very creative, and does a fantastic job of building out a strong and meaningful bond between these characters. I really enjoy the concept of humans and mobians coexisting, and the kind of conflicts that can arise and how they are dealt with.
I think it's a really cool concept to see Mighty and Ray having originally come from different home towns, and their eventual meeting, cooperation and friendship. I also really enjoy the introductions of Mighty and Ray and descriptions showing their kind and generous personalities, including their willingness to help others. I found all of that to be very touching.
I also feel like your story does a great job of building out the setting, characters and drama: I was able to picture multiple scenes in my mind with ease and there was sufficient intensity in tandem with depth of character for each major character to make me concerned and curious as to the events they experience and their ultimate outcomes.
I also enjoyed how you split the story into 5 parts and the cool and interesting names you wrote for each part. I really loved the puns, too. I've always enjoyed chapter names (or similar ideas, such as part names) as it's fun to read the title and speculate as to what may be about to happen in the story.
All in all, I really love and enjoy your Mighty and Ray origin story and would be more than happy to read any further stories you write about them or in general.
In terms of constructive criticism for how to make your stories even more awesome, I definitely don't have any major criticisms, just a few ideas for how to improve even more.
This can definitely be tricky on the forum (please let me know if you want any MyCode tips for formatting and I'd be more than happy to help), but I think adding more formatting to the story would be good. Such as condensing multiple lines together more where appropriate, or alternatively separating out lines with more whitespace to balance it out more visually. I'm definitely not very familiar with the official grammatical rules for how to do this correctly, such as in professional books. I think they covered that in my English classes but I honestly forgot lol. I'd have to research it. But just in terms of informal formatting, just mainly spacing / balancing out the text more can make it look more visually balanced for ease of reading.
In terms of substance of the story, an idea that came to mind as I was reading was that I would love to read even more detailed descriptions of the setting, characters, action / events, etc. I feel like a lot of the flow of the story was centered around dialogue primarily. It's definitely great to have a lot of good dialogue, and I feel that is essential for an interesting and relatable story (which yours definitely is!) But in addition to that, I feel it is also essential to build out the setting and events as much as possible beyond the dialogue itself: to paint a picture in the reader's mind. This can be accomplished in a variety of ways, including but not limited to writing out more imagery describing the general setting and the dynamic setting as it changes relative to specific characters / events / time, and non-dialogue descriptions of events or happenings from a narrator's perspective (such as character thoughts, or just more detailed written out descriptions of action and events).
Thanks so much for sharing your story with all of us here! I really enjoyed it and I look forward to reading any further stories you would like to share. (I also plan to finish reading and post feedback on your awesome Sonic Forces Rewritten as soon as possible as well!)
