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Need to let go...
Topic Started: Dec 28 2013, 06:11 PM (489 Views)
Nekochii Dec 28 2013, 06:11 PM Post #1
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KiLLER LADY
 For almost 3 years now, I've been in love with this person. About 2 years ago, we dated, but now we've drifted apart. They've moved pretty far away from me (about 600 miles). We already agreed that a long distance relationship like this wouldn't work out.
... But it's been 2 years now, and I simply cannot get over them. Isn't this kind of "crush" type thing that lasts really long something clinical? It's really stressing me out, and causing me to be clinically depressed (the docs already gave me antidepressants).
I'm diabetic, and can't deal with all this stress and heartache, for it causes my blood glucose to go out of control.
So, for my own sake, I need to let them go. Please. Any advice helps.
"Shall I Attach A Collar To You?
I Wonder If Leashing You Makes You A Little Tamer."

Nekochii
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Lord Pianta Dec 29 2013, 05:21 PM Post #2
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Il Piantissimo

 Alright, I've been in a similar situation and it's pretty tough. Being depressed on top of it really doesn't help matters either. BUT, I'll assure you, you'll get over it! It may seem like it's gonna take such a long time and it's not worth it, but trust me it is. I'm a much happier person now then I was a year ago.

Let the past go. Let your crush go.

Firstly, distance yourself from your crush. It may seem harsh, but you have to think for yourself here. Do you want to keep on hurting yourself by being with that person, even though you can't exactly be with them? Give yourself and them some space. Stop contacting them, only when it's absolutely nessecary. I don't know how much contact you have with eachother, but keep it at a minimum. It's all about having self-respect. Tell them why. And then let that go.

If you have someone to talk to about it, friend or family, now it's the time. Let your heart out, they'll surely listen. You'll feel better. If you don't want to talk about it, or there's no one around, try to write your feelings down. Then save it or destroy it, either one is fine. (I saved my letters to myself so I could see how much I've improved over time. It's really uplifting)

You've gotta find some distraction. What makes you happy? What makes you feel good? Is there someone else out there who can cheer you up? Go do the stuff you haven't done for years, pick up an old hobby, rewatch old TV-shows/anime, get into new music. Go out there and find out what makes you happy.

Make sure you have no reason to look back. Replace all the bad thoughts with happy ones.

Try to have some new experiences. Go to a concert, go to a party, pull an allnighter, cook your own food; basically try something you haven't done before but always were curious to try out.

Try to reinvent yourself. Get a haircut. Wear something different. Try to fall in love with yourself. Accept yourself for who you are and what you do. You don't have to have loads of confidence, but at least try to accept. Don't punish yourself for being you.

Also, if you want, you can meet new people. Or at least, surround yourself with people you like, and people you'd want to know better. For example, go out with your friends and meet someone new.

Last but not least - take your time. This is not something that will fade away in a few days. Don't rush it either.

Hope this helps a bit! Good luck!
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last.fm | MAL
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Nekochii Dec 31 2013, 08:43 PM Post #3
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KiLLER LADY
 Thank you very much for the advice, Pianta. I may try some of those things.
But I'd like some more advice before I go jumping to conclusions.
"Shall I Attach A Collar To You?
I Wonder If Leashing You Makes You A Little Tamer."

Nekochii
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BLOPS2 Jan 3 2014, 06:51 PM Post #4
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Walkers, Walkers everywhere
 I've been in a similar situation. My first crushed moved to another country and last I heard she's dead (but that's another story for a different time that I'd be happy to tell to anyone who PMs me) and let me tell you, it DOES take time to get over it. There's just no way around that. Do things you enjoy, stuff to keep them off your mind.
Gonna dropkick it.
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Lord Eileanach Jan 11 2014, 09:40 AM Post #5
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. . .

Hi there GUMi,

Tough situation to be in, sometimes (and excuse me for sounding naive) but if this is someone you are in love with, it feel like it is almost impossible to let them go.

You need to work out some things for yourself, if you both agree that long distance won't work, and you are both still interested in one another, would one of you consider relocating?

Love can do some messed up things to you. It can make you feel like you are lost and out of control when apart from them. Time and distance, for me anyway, has never helped me I am still very much in love with the only person I've ever been in love with. I always will be, the best you can do is try to talk with them, let it out, see where they stand and work something out that works for you both.

Otherwise, you're going to need to get a lot of support, love and such from your friends, family and try to move on or block it out for a while.

Pianta and Blops give very sensible advice, also if something is affecting your health that way. You need to think seriously about letting go or making it work somehow.
~Eileanach~
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Oh, stop the world I want to get off!
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