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Some advice please...?; Anyone who's good at advice giving...
Topic Started: Feb 23 2013, 05:01 PM (870 Views)
Wallace Feb 23 2013, 05:58 PM Post #1
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Break out the L-word. The other L-word.
 Yes, I think you're probably a bit too attached to this person. By the way, if he wants to be referred to or seen as a male, call him a male. In almost all cases, transgender individuals prefer to be called by the gender they identify with, not the gender of their genitalia. Perhaps mention from the get-go that he is transgender, but it's really all irrelevant information, anyways, and could be done without.

But back to what I was saying. Usually -- and I say this from first-hand experience -- there is a reason, or some basic need, that wanting a person this badly satisfies. Sometimes it's lust. Sometimes it's the desire for companionship. Sometimes it's the need for a person who cares about you. That's only a few. It seems to me, by your limited explanation, that your desire for him is mostly or at the very least majorly sexual, and also the need for a person to be a positive idol and lover.

Generally, from what I've found, relationships in which one or both of the partners are almost entirely dependent on the other for their presence, affection, or body in order to be happy, are unhealthy. Can you not talk to him at all while he's gone? Text, Skype, something? However awkward or bad it may seem to you to be, talking through these things with the person involved can usually be very effective in resolving the issue or coming to some sort of understanding. If you do have a chance, try to talk to him about these things, and ask him how he feels about them.

I guess that's about as much help as I can give right now. Best of luck to you with him.
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