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Renegade Dusk

Jun 11 2015, 10:31 AM

Now, if they make Cross-Save possible I might consider getting the 3DS port. Maybe.

Chompman

Jun 12 2015, 08:27 AM

Also...CRYSTAL PEPSI MIGHT BE MAKING A COMEBACK AFTER 24 YEARS!

FiniteZero

Jun 12 2015, 09:24 AM

Chompman

Jun 12 2015, 08:27 AM

Also...CRYSTAL PEPSI MIGHT BE MAKING A COMEBACK AFTER 24 YEARS!

What's this about a possible comeback?

Cee Jay Haych

Jun 12 2015, 03:49 PM

So been playing the new Xenoverse DLC today and one quest had a sudden increase the difficultly.
You start off fighting Goku and Vegeta at the same time and every time you beat them they go up one Super Saiyan level (Starting at base they go to SSJ1, SSJ2, SSJ3 -Goku only, Then SSJ4) and have to fight them all over again at max health, Then when you beat both at SSJ4 they fuse into Gogeta and you have to fight him, AND THEN after you beat him they unfuse and take on there new God forms and you have to fight them at almost max stats.

So yeah, really started to feel like the fight that never ended.

Guest review for Chompman begins (chapter 4)

 

interesting story.

You're off to an ok start, but I can't help but feel like this is a story that's already been written before. It's basically about a mii character who joins the Smash Bros. as a new fighter in the roster. This is cool and all, but there really hasn't been anything all that worthwhile going on. Besides the bullies, Zot is living in a pretty perfect world, and I hate to say that his personality is somewhat bland. The only characters who really stand out to me in this story are the bullies, but you've painted them all with the stereotypical bully personality that it doesn't really suit them at all. Honestly I can't imagine someone like Ganondorf or Bowser resorting to something as petty as bullying, let alone with someone they don't even know. I'm sure even Dedede would be more concerned with bothering Kirby than this random Mii they just happened to stumble upon who you said so yourself had nothing overly interesting about him physically. I thought your idea for giving Zot chain chomp powers was cool, but the way he comes about finding these powers is... I don't know, kind of lackluster.

On the more positive side, your spelling and grammar are pretty good. You had a huge problem with a run-on sentence one time when you were talking about Links friends, but otherwise you're not bad. Unfortunately, that's really the only praise I can give you at this point since its hard for me to find things that make this story stand out from the other "My OC joins the Smash Bros as a Mii fighter" stories. If you're looking to improve, you could start by giving characters more recognizable and colorful personalities, including the Miis you've introduced. Second, refrain from using the "a's" in Wario's dialogue since (despite what you may think) it makes it harder to read. We also need some more conflict besides playground bullies wandering around the mansion because things can be pretty slow at times. Lastly, try to spice things up a bit with some humor so that things don't get too dull.

If you start picking up the slack, you might find some more readers grabbing onto this story. Good luck to you on the next chapter and if you have any questions about my review, just shoot me a PM. Take care.

-Smash