Gaining Trust.

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Gaining Trust.
Tweet Topic Started: Feb 5 2012, 05:27 PM (167 Views)
Nico Yazawa	Feb 5 2012, 05:27 PM Post #1
Lava Reef Act 2 Posts: 3,958 Group: D Rank Legend Member #12,454 Joined: October 10, 2011 Gender: Undisclosed Game Currently Playing: tales of symphonia	Chapter 1 You know that feeling you get? When you just feel so sad and feel worthless? Well, luckily lots of people just feel it for a few minutes or so. I feel it all the time, all day. Every day. Some people manage to make me feel better. But not for a while. Just for those few minutes they're talking to me. And then after that I just get those bad thoughts, and the bad feelings back again. But it's not like anyone cared or cares now because if they did they'd try to help me. They'd try their hardest to give me advice, to make me feel better but instead they just say ''Oh. That's too bad'' or ''Ok'' and that really doesn't help. It sucks. Because I still sit here, suffering in silence. I don't have any friends at school. I'm ignored. Unknown. Invisible to everyone. I used to have a lot of friends but then they just all changed. They became different and started doing bad stuff and they saw me as a threat, a loser, a geek. And then they ditched me. I became invisible after that, I had no friends. They started making fun of me, and then everyone else joined in. They did the same. All because my so called friends became popular and then everyone started to follow them, and it's so sad. It's really stupid.. but whatever. I'm not made fun of anymore as of now. They stopped after they saw it 'didn't effect me' and 'didn't bother me'. But deep inside, it did. It did bother me.. and it made me who I am today. The loner. The invisible one. The loser, the geek, the one who no one talks to.The one everyone hates for no reason. But I don't mind now, I guess.. I like being alone. I love being alone because it gives me time to myself which is just what I need. It can randomly bother me at times, tug at me from the back of my mind but.. other than that I love being alone. I'd rather be alone and invisible than being made fun of by everyone. When I'm invisible, sure I'm not noticed but it's better than being called a whole bunch of names and stuff. Besides, I can't depend on anyone else anymore. I can't trust anyone else. I can only trust myself, seeing how everyone is these days. Maybe I can't be dependable sometimes but it's better than anyone else these days who is untrusting and not dependable constantly. Maybe I should just give up friends all together seeing as I can't trust anyone but myself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I walk through the double doors of the school and put my head down.Oh, by the way my name is Mandy. Mandy Scheuster. My hoodie was over my head. I was wearing a neon colored hoodie and a long gray t-shirt with blue jeans and these high sneakers that went really high up my legs. They were pink. I walk to my locker and open it, open up my backpack and grab my stuff out of it, put my backpack in the locker and then shut it. I saw the popular girls walking down the halls. They were wearing low cut shirts, really short shorts, and uggs. Oh god. Who wears that anymore? Only really stupid girls would wear that to get boys. All the boys, not to my surprise, were drooling over them. All except one. I saw him from the corner of my eye, he had dark brown hair that covered his eyes and mocha colored eyes. He looked cute. He seemed to have some type of brains for not drooling over the girls. But, he could be taken by another girl completely different from them. What do I know. I don't pay attention to the gossip or crap that goes on in this school anymore. I stopped caring after people stopped caring about me. I couldn't stop looking at that one boy, with the mocha brown eyes. He was wearing a black v-neck, torn up jeans and sandals. Maybe he didn't have the greatest sense of fashion, but he was still cute. His mocha brown eyes seemed to stand out from the rest of his features.. Heh. Gah, what am I thinking? A cute guy like him won't want to be with a loser like me. I shake my head, and then see the popular girls were already past me, with all my thinking going on I wasn't surprised, and the girls flirted with all the guys. I roll my eyes and scoff, not wanting to deal with their stupid crap today. Why did I care anyways? Oh, that's right. I had nobody. But whatever no one would want to be with me anyways, let alone be my friend.. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to talk to that one cute boy, with the mocha brown eyes. Except I wouldn't go up to him myself and talk to him. I'd get him to notice me, somehow. And, ironically, there he was. He walked in the classroom, and sat in a seat in the front. I was all the way in the back. How would I, the quiet shy girl, manage to get him to notice me? I sigh and bite my lip, trying to think of something. I'd think of something somehow... Even if it made everyone hate me, I'd get the cute guy to notice me. To talk to me. I got a wad of paper, the teacher still wasn't here so it was safe, and I threw it at him. He was surprised and he turned in my direction. He saw me and cocked his head. He got up and walked to me. I gulped and sighed, a lump in my throat. For some reason I got a weird feeling in my stomach, I got all anxious. He was so cute. I bit my lip. His eyes burned into mine. ''Did you throw that paper at me?'' He asks and I look down and nod nervously. ''I...Just wanted to get your attention.'' I sigh. He just nods and sits down in the seat next to mine. ''I understand.. you're pretty cute yourself,'' He says and I look up. He was smiling. A bright red blush burned onto my face. Maybe I was right about him. Maybe he is different. ''My name's Justin,'' he says and I nod. ''My name is Mandy..'' I think this would be a good start to a good friendship. Maybe. I just have to give him time.
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Nico Yazawa	Feb 6 2012, 03:41 PM Post #2
Lava Reef Act 2 Posts: 3,958 Group: D Rank Legend Member #12,454 Joined: October 10, 2011 Gender: Undisclosed Game Currently Playing: tales of symphonia	Chapter 2 He looks up at me. ''That's a beautiful name.'' I blush even more and just nod. I didn't know how to react. No guy had ever been this nice to me, so I had no idea how to react. I had never dated anyone. No guy ever wanted to. I was in high school and still I had never dated anyone. But, I can wait. Hopefully. I've waited 17 years.. and I can keep waiting for just a little longer. His voice snaps my thoughts. ''Well.. I'd better get back to my seat..'' He says and I nod. I was honestly a little disappointed he was going. He was the only guy I know that wouldn't get mad at me for throwing a piece of paper at him. Any other guys I knew at this school would be furious if I threw a piece of paper at them! But, I guess that's how different Justin is. Justin doesn't seem to have a bad temper. He seems really nice. He actually talked to me. He didn't look back at me, and then turn back to his friends and talk crap about me or anything. I'm happy for that. He seemed really cute, too. And he was. When I talked to him, I noticed all his amazing features even more. His jawline. How his hair went just over his eyes a little so I could still see them blow me away.. His heart shaped lips. His muscular arms. His beautiful smile. I wasn't falling for him. I just noticed many things about people when I see them. His mocha brown eyes still stood out to me the most though, and I wasn't surprised. They were beautiful. The teacher walks into the classroom and starts rambling on about random stuff. I did fairly well in school, I did all my work, I was quiet of course and well behaved. And the fact no one made fun of me now made it even better. Whenever the teacher turned to the board, Justin would always look at me, flash a smile. Like a sign of some sort, like he wanted me to talk to him after class or something like that. Every time he did that I just smiled back nervously, not really knowing what to do, as usual. Soon the class was over and the bell rang, signaling us to go to our next class. I got out of my seat and Justin walks over to me. He hands me a note, says nothing more and walks out of the classroom. I cocked my head confusingly, but take the note, stuff it in my pocket carefully and then walk out of the classroom and across the hall to my next class. I was honestly excited for it. Justin was in this class too. I walked in the classroom and then go to the back of the room. I sit down, set my stuff down and looked around. I sigh a breath of relief as the teacher wasn't here yet and I take the note out of my pocket. It read, ''Hi! You're really cute. I want to hang out with you after school, if that's cool with cha. I'll meet you at the park near Starbucks. See you then, shawty. -Justin'' I smiled in my mind, he seemed so outgoing and silly. I fold the note back up and stuff it back in my pocket. I was going to meet Justin after school at the park. I know it wasn't a date. It was just a fun hangout. We didn't even declare ourselves friends yet, haha. But maybe we would once we met each other at the park. The day went by fairly quickly, faster than usually. Before I even knew it, it was the end of the day. I quickly grabbed my stuff when the bell rang at the end of our last class. I ran out of the room, and to my locker. I open it, get my backpack and put my stuff in there. I quickly ran past everyone not caring what they said or looked at me for. I didn't care. I was going to go hang out with Justin at the park! I ran past everyone once I was out of the school and started to run to the park. I was so excited. He seemed so nice! And he asked me to hang out with him after school when we didn't even hang out that long. No dude has ever done that before. I was soon at the park and I breathed heavily. I saw Justin sitting on the bench. I sit next to him and smile. He looks at me. ''So I see you read the note,'' He said and I nod. ''I came as soon as the day ended.'' He chuckles. We started to talk a little and I couldn't stop smiling. I could now offically declare we were friends. I knew it just had to be true.
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Nico Yazawa	Feb 9 2012, 12:43 PM Post #3
Lava Reef Act 2 Posts: 3,958 Group: D Rank Legend Member #12,454 Joined: October 10, 2011 Gender: Undisclosed Game Currently Playing: tales of symphonia	Chapter 3 I look up at Justin and smile. He was just so nice. I then look down and sigh, realizing what this meant. Maybe he was different, but.. ''Hey, Justin?'' I ask and he looks up at me, his mocha colored orbs looking at my eyes. ''What made you want to meet me here?'' He chuckles. I cock my head to the side, confused as to why he did that. What did it mean? ''You seem like a nice girl, is all. I think we should be friends,'' He says and I smile, nodding. I knew it. I knew we had to be friends! I knew it was possible. But I hope he wasn't lying. It could always be possible that he was lying. Maybe he made a bet, to pretend to be my friend. Oh god, Mandy. Here we go again with the overthinking. I always overthought everything, the littlest things. It was so stupid. It was one of my habits. I just tend to do it, not intentionally of course..it just happens. I sigh and look down, and he puts his hand on my chin. ''What's wrong?'' He asks and I shake my head, I couldn't tell him what I was thinking. He might get mad and leave. That's the last thing I'd want him to do. He was so nice and at least seemed to be my friend...and I didn't want to lose the only friend I had.. He frowns. ''You can tell me,'' He says and I continue to shake my head, not vigorously but gently. ''If I told you, you'd get mad,'' I finally reply with my quiet voice. He chuckles and shakes his head now. I stop shaking my head after he did. ''No I won't.'' He says and I just sigh, take a deep breath and then look at him. Not into his eyes, I just looked at him. ''Okay well I have a habit to overthink and stuff a-and I thought being you being my friend was a dare or something,'' I reply and I see the look on his face. He looked surprised, shocked. Oh, great. I upset him, I can just tell! Oh god Mandy why do you have to be so clumsy with your words. That's why no one wants to be your friend! I look down but he brings my face up to his. ''I'm not lying, nor was it a dare. You seem really nice and all. I mean it. You seemed lonely and all, no offense, and when you threw the paper at me I decided to take a chance and be your friend. I've always wanted to be your friend, ever since I went to this school a while back..'' He says and I smile. I could tell he was sincere by the sincerity in his voice. I knew there was something wrong with my thoughts, I knew he couldn't be lying or anything. He was so sweet, he didn't get mad... he didn't seem to have a bad temper at all. He gets up. ''Well..it's kinda getting dark now,'' he says, ''I should get going.'' I nod. I didn't mind him going home.. at least we talked, right? I awkwardly hug him and he hugs me back. His arms around me felt so nice. I hadn't hugged anyone besides my parents in a long time. He was so warm! When he let go I was disappointed. I never wanted him to let go..I missed what the feeling of a sincere hug felt like. I sigh, wave bye to him and start to walk home. As I got home and walked to the door, I heard my parents. They were arguing. I heard the shatter of glass. I couldn't go in there when they were doing THAT type of stuff to each other! What a great way to ruin my day. Just great. I was having a great day with Justin and then I come home to this! I sigh and walk to the wall, and put my back against it, sliding down the wall. I put my arms on my legs and sigh, waiting for the arguing to stop. But it seemed to never end. I cover my ears with my hands, and shut my eyes. I wanted it to go away. This is what no one knew, that my parents argued and sometimes even hurt me! I kept it to myself.. besides who'd want to listen anyways? No one seems to care anymore but myself..
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Nico Yazawa	Feb 10 2012, 11:44 PM Post #4
Lava Reef Act 2 Posts: 3,958 Group: D Rank Legend Member #12,454 Joined: October 10, 2011 Gender: Undisclosed Game Currently Playing: tales of symphonia	Chapter 4 After a while, the crashing and loudness in the house had stopped. I sighed a breath of relief. I was happy for it to finally be over, all I wanted was for it to be over soon. I slowly turn the doorknob, and walk inside the house. My parents immediately look at me. My mom didn't seem to care. She just turned back to my Dad and then she gets up. She left my Dad alone and I sigh a breath of relief. ''I-I'm sorry I'm late. I was...just hanging out with a new friend. I lost track of the time,'' I say. My Mom doesn't say anything, she just goes to the couch and so does my dad. they were sitting next to each other. I winced, waiting for my Dad to be furious. To blow up at me, to just slap the shit out of me. But he didn't. He just watched TV as did my Mom. I decided to go up to my room. I shut the door gently and locked it. I gulped and looked in the mirror. My eyes looked dull. My hair, dull as well. It seemed to also be all over the place, though. It was awful but I never cared how I looked, but both my parents always seemed to get on my case about it. I hated it. They always seemed to just criticize everything I did and never gave me any good criticism. They never encouraged me to do good things, and they always said I was too shy, not very outgoing, and everything. It got annoying. But, whatever. I just deal with it. I pulled up my shirt, looking at my stomach. I was so fat. People said I was skinny but I wasn't. They just said that to make me feel better. I really am fat. I ate...a lot. I wouldn't even be surprised if I had an eating condition of some sort.. I then looked down at my breasts. They were so undeveloped. So.. flat. But there was nothing I could do about that, sadly. And my legs were so thick.. I hated it. I hated myself. I didn't cut myself or anything like that, but I just hated myself. I kept my feelings inside. I never told anyone how I felt. I knew they'd be annoyed and who did I have to tell anyways? They wouldn't care. At all. No one cared. Or cares now. I couldn't tell Justin. I just met him today! I couldn't trust him just yet. Sure we were friends but I couldn't tell him everything... I have to give him time. I sighed, seeing it was late. I wasn't going to eat dinner. I'm going straight to bed. I changed into my pajamas, brushed my teeth and then headed off to bed. Except I couldn't. I couldn't fall asleep. Many thoughts ran through my head, making me frustrated. I couldn't get them out. They just wouldn't stop! It was so annoying. I couldn't stop the thoughts from coming. I sigh. I didn't have a phone. And I didn't want one. So I just lay in bed, unable to sleep. This never had happened to me before. I always was able to sleep just then, just managed to fall right asleep. I didn't know what was wrong with me and I was so mad. I just sighed. I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep. Eventually..I did. I fell asleep, pitch black. I never dreamt anything. Because I never had any dreams to begin with.
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