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Couple Finally Reveals Child's Gender...
Topic Started: Jan 22 2012, 01:20 PM (466 Views)
SuperShadowgal
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Article: http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/couple-finally-reveals-childs-gender-five-years-birth-180300388.html

Couple Finally Reveals Child's Gender, Five Years After Birth

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It's a boy! And he's five. Beck Laxton, 46, and partner Kieran Cooper, 44, have spent half the decade concealing the gender of their son, Sasha.

"I wanted to avoid all that stereotyping," Laxton said in an interview with the Cambridge News. "Stereotypes seem fundamentally stupid. Why would you want to slot people into boxes?"

Laxton, a UK-based web editor, and her partner, Cooper, decided to keep Sasha's sex a secret when he was still in the womb. The birth announcement stated the gender-neutral name of their child, but skipped the big reveal. Up until recently, the couple only told a few close friends and family members that Sasha was a boy and managed to keep the rest of the world in the dark. But now that he's starting school the secret's out.

For years, Becks has been referring to her child, the youngest of three, as "the infant" on her personal blog. But guarding the public from her son's gender was only part of her quest to let her kid just be a kid.

Sasha dresses in clothes he likes -- be it a hand-me-downs from his sister or his brother. The big no-no's are hyper-masculine outfits like skull-print shirts and cargo pants. In one photo, sent to friends and family, Sasha's dressed in a shiny pink girl's swimsuit. "Children like sparkly things," says Beck. "And if someone thought Sasha was a girl because he was wearing a pink swimming costume, then what effect would that have? "

Sasha's also not short on dolls, though Barbie is also off limits. "She's banned because she's horrible," Laxton says in the Cambridge interview.

On a macro level she hopes her son sets an example for other parents and makes them reconsider buying their own sons trucks or forcing their daughters into tights. She's seen how those consumer trappings affect how and who kids play with in the sandbox.

But the sandbox is just a precursor to the classroom. When Sasha turned five and headed to school, Laxton was forced to make her son's sex public. That meant Sasha would have to get used to being a boy in the eyes of his peers. Still, his mom is intervening. While the school requires different uniforms for boys and girls, Sasha wears a girl's blouse with his pants.

"I don't think I'd do it if I thought it was going to make him unhappy, but at the moment he's not really bothered either way. We haven't had any difficult scenarios yet."

Last year another couple, Kathy Witterick, 38, and David Stocker, 39, of Toronto made a similar decision when they had their baby, Storm. At the time, certain psychiatric experts voiced concern over their decision. "To have a sense of self and personal identity is a critical part of normal healthy development," Dr. Eugene Beresin, director of training in child and adolescent psychiatry at Massachusetts General Hospital, told ABC News. "This blocks that and sets the child up for bullying, scapegoating and marginalization."

But as parents well know, bullying is hard for any child to avoid. It's more important to raise someone who's confident enough in himself to overcome peer pressure. It's also important to have his parents have his back (remember the mom who defended her son's choice in a Halloween costume?) Maybe Sasha's early years will be character building, maybe he'll have a higher emotional quotient being raised with dual perspectives on gender. Or the reverse could be true: Sasha may have less of a formed identity because of his upbringing, and feel angry at his mom for dressing him in flowery shirts and telling the world about it. Then again, maybe he'll get over it.

As for Laxton, she says she's open to her son pursing any career or sexual preference he chooses as he matures. "As long as he has good relationships and good friends," she says, "then nothing else matters, does it?"


Found this while surfing another forum.
I have no problems with parents raising their kids how they want, or people wanting to break "gender roles" or stereotypes, but I can't help but shake my head when reading this article.

A lot of people seem to have the same feelings, but it does not truly seem like the kid has tons of choices to be honest. He is still being 'forced' to pick certain things, because if it's too "hyper masculine" or vice versa it's the wrong thing to wear or play with. I mean, I'm sure he has choices, but they're constrained by his parents views on gender stereotypes.

Your thoughts?
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Lord Spin
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They got Freddy. Poor Freddy.

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Jan 22 2012, 09:38 PM
It's a boy...?

... Named Sasha?

... Sounds legit?
Sacha Baron Cohen would like to have a word with you.
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Ark Rotarl
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The idea behind all of this is admittedly interesting, but I seriously doubt this kid will want to be apart of his mother's social experiment forever (if the poor boy isn't being brain-trained to obey his mother's wishes at an early age). It potentially will show us just what the next generation of kids could be like in an extremely socially progressive upbringing.
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Darros
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First off, I think this is insane, yadda yadda yadda.

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I hardly think that the popularity of the child should be something to worry about. Instead of something shallow, like how many friends he'll have, I think its more important to think about his self identity and if this kind of treatment will leave long lasting mental issues once he gets older.

I wouldn't say how many friends one has is "something shallow". I mean, most people take friendship for granted, and say "everyone has friends", but there's a chance this kid might not be able to make friends because of his parents. Life without friends can be extrememly tough and lonely.
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Fwiss
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The kid has choices. It's not like his mother makes him wear girly clothes, it's his choice. She does outlaw Barbies and skulls which might say to the kid that she doesn't want him to make a choice rather than what she may mean (you're too young to choose).
And Bliz, (I can't believe I am calling out someone on being idealistic) your suggestions on bullying are like suggesting we fight basic human nature. You can punish a kid for making fun of him, but they'll still be angry at him. We might be able to hope that he has some of the same people throughout his older school years, since kids that age get accustomed to things like that very well. Though it is a good point that you made. I've been conditioned by society to act normal and that's made me popular and rid me of bullying, but I supposed it changed my mindset.
Edited by Fwiss, Jan 23 2012, 04:31 AM.
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Lady BlizShadow
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I still can't use this.

It's "human nature" for people to do a lot of immoral things, like child rape for instance. If such an atrocity like child rape wasn't "in our nature," we simply wouldn't do it. However, the capability to perform an atrocity doesn't mean we don't bear the responsibility for doing it when we do it.

With the aforementioned crime of child rape, are you willing to dismiss any perpetrator on the basis that child rapists are gonna be child rapists because it's inherently in their nature and- as a result- there's nothing we can do about it? Do you now understand why I find such thinking ludicrous?

Note, I'm not saying that we can magically erase bullying. I'm saying there's a much better way to deal with it than blaming the victim, because that's essentially what society does. They think something must obviously be wrong with the kid who isn't doing anything wrong instead of the shitheads who torture people for amusement. It's nothing less than backwards, because this kind of thinking just doesn't fly with most other assault crimes.
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