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- Act IV: Artist's Showcase Yard
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- Fall of Equestria
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| Fall of Equestria; Eeeeyup, a Pony-Chaos crossover | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 22 2011, 07:45 PM (276 Views) | |
| Lord English | May 22 2011, 07:45 PM Post #1 |
Sandopolis Act 2
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(The Chaos universe is based on my own seperate fan-fiction universe, so just bare with me |P) Jake turned in his bed and adjusted his pillow. Damn was it hotter than usual. The brown haired boy rolled over a couple times, and began to give up on finding a comfortable position. "It's so warm and eurhg..." He mumbled, in a half awaken stupor. Jake was 15 years old, so he wasn't quite used to sleeping in such a large bed; a gift given to him by a close friend. "Jake, what are you doing up?" Asked a smooth, female voice with a light British accent "I'm detecting an increased in heart rate, is something distressing you?" The voice echoed across the dark room, that was only lit by an aged night light. "Oh, nothing." Jake replied, rubbing his eyes to try and focus on the blue light in front of him "Just having trouble falling asleep." "Well then, would you perhaps want me to read you a nursery rhyme? I've heard that they are commonly used to help human children return to their slumber" The voice had enough of a consistent neutral tone that is was surprisingly soothing. "Ahahaha, very funny, Nicole." Jake smiled, beginning to stand up as he continued to awaken "Unless you're serious. It's pretty damn hard to tell when you are. We should probably install a sarcasm setting or something." "No, I was serious, but I'm going to assume you don't want the story. Anything else I can do to help?" Jake was awake enough that he could focus on Nicole. She was a extremely intelligent mobian AI, who projected herself as a Lynx with purple robe. Her hologram, however, was tinted blue to the point that her colors did not matter. "Nah, I'm just gonna stretch out a bit and go back to sleep." He sighed "Very well." Nicole replied "I'll see you tomorrow, then." Her hologram began to fade, but before disappearing it Edited by Lord English, Sep 30 2011, 10:12 PM.
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| Wallace | May 23 2011, 03:44 PM Post #2 |
Break out the L-word. The other L-word.
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THAT'S AMAZING, BRINGING PONIES AND MY FAVORITE SERIES EVER TOGETHER. IT'S SO AMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZING. |
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| Crooked Axle | May 23 2011, 04:18 PM Post #3 |
I seem to be all out of fucks
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Not too bad, Silver. It's difficult to judge how it'll be at this point, but it's looking alright so far. Even if it seems a bit rushed. |P |
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| Lord English | May 23 2011, 04:26 PM Post #4 |
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Sandopolis Act 2
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I only rush through the first bit to get everything going and to keep it as short as possible for the everyone except Unicron who doesn't know the Chaos story. Anyways, even starting with Chapter 2 everything is at a better pace. |
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| Crooked Axle | May 23 2011, 04:28 PM Post #5 |
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I seem to be all out of fucks
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Well I hope the pacing improves. |P I'd also suggest working in some character development for Jake, since I have no idea what sort of person he is at this point. |
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| Lord English | May 23 2011, 06:25 PM Post #6 |
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Sandopolis Act 2
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Chapter 2 After about an hour's walk, they arrived at Ponyville. It was a lot more colorful than Jake had imagined, though he really didn't know what to expect. "Well this is it. Pretty neat, huh?" Rainbow Dash said Jake nodded, and kept following her. At first he had struggled with walking in this new body, but by now he had a good enough idea. After they visited a couple spots around the town, Jake started to realize a bit more about this strange culture. It appeared that this world was shared by earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi. While it seemed that maybe it would be like Mobius, instead the ponies were the dominant species and they looked after all the other animals. It really seemed like such a happy place where everyone got along; much better than back on earth. Earth was much different. Jake practically grew up on war, though he was different than most kids. Normally, you wouldn't meet a bunch of mobians that you would go on adventures with, and you definitely wouldn't save the world numerous times. He knew he was special, but he almost hated the fact. He hated all the attention he had gotten, and was glad that it was all over and had lost the powers. Now though, it seemed that the past was out to get him, especially with the Covenant suddenly attacking, and He still couldn't comprehend that. They had been completely annihilated months ago, yet they had an entire corvette ship waiting right outside his house. "Well, there you have it." Said Rainbow Dash, interrupting the trance that Jake was in. "Not a bad place, really." Jake blinked a couple times. They had toured the entire town while he had been pondering. It was surprising though, he tended to always get lost in his thoughts. Even now, he had left Dash waiting for a response. "Heh, you sure are quiet!" She observed "You remind me of my friend Fluttershy... HEY! You should totally meet her!" "Hi Rainbow dash." Said a quiet voice; It was another Pegasus. She was a light yellow with a long, almost lavender pink mane. "Hey Fluttershy!" She exclaimed "We were just talking about you! This is Jake, he's new to town but totally an awesome flyer." "Oh... Um... Hi." She whispered. He could tell by her name that she was shy, but her body language was also making it obvious. As soon as she had noticed him she retracted her wings, and was practically cowering away from him. She almost reminded Jake of himself. He would probably be acting the same way if he wasn't trying hard not to embarrass himself. "Hey Fluttershy... Uh, nice to meet you." He smiled, though it was somewhat forced. "SEE?!" Dash exclaimed "You two are exactly the same! I knew you would be the best friends!" "Ohh um... That's great, but I kinda sort of have somewhere to be right now." She said before quickly flying off. Jake tried to look at himself for a bit, was he really that intimidating? Sure, black and red weren't the most inviting colours, but everyone in this town seem to comprise the rainbow. "Oh, don't mind her." Rainbow Dash giggled "She just gets nervous SUPER easy, kinda like you! Anyways, let's go see someone else, like Twilight!" Jake nodded, though his legs were starting to get sore from all the walking. That and he still wasn't really used to his new body. Ponyville wasn't exactly a large town, but it did take awhile to get around in. "Twilight's kinda shy, but at least she can hold a conversation, so you two should get along just fine. She's sorta a HUGE book nerd though, so she could really use all the friends she can get!" She explained. That description reminded Jake of Nicole. She was so anti-social for the longest time before he taught her to relax for once. With that thought, he realized that he hadn't seen Nicole since they left earth. Had she gone through with him? Was she too turned into a pony? These thoughts circled around in his head for the entire trip to this "Twilight". ------------------ Nicole didn't have to walk long before she came across what appeared to be a farm. She felt her stomach grumble again, and decided to go and check if they had any food there. Which they were sure to have, since it was a farm after all. It was stupid of her to think otherwise. As she passed through a gate, she noticed a something coming towards her. It was a pony, who was a light orange with a yellow mane and wore a brown cow boy hat. It seemed strange for an animal to be wearing a hat despite not having any clothing, but she shrugged it off. "Howdy partner! Name's Applejack, nice to make your 'qquaintance." Said the orange pony "Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres!" Nicole paused for a moment to observe the creature but soon enough replied "Hello Applejack, my name is Nicole. It is also a pleasure to meet you." "Ahaha, y'all sure love fancy talk. Anywho, I reckon you came here for one of our apples? I tell ya, they're the juiciest in all of Equestria. Here, I'll give y'all a free one." Applejack smiled, grabbing one with her mouth from a nearby basket. "Actually, I just came here to ask for directions, but that sounds wonderful. Thank you very much." Nicole said, before reaching forward and awkward grabbing the bright red apple. As she bit into it, she felt the delicious juices flow through her mouth as they invigorated her taste buds. It was something she had never experienced before, and it was just amazing. She tried to savor the delicacy, but she ended up finishing it within seconds. "Directions, huh? Well where are y'all plannin' on visitin', hun?" She asked "Oh, I just need to find the nearest town, that's all." Nicole replied, craving another apple. She didn't have any money, or whatever they used as currency, so she would have to suck it up. "Well then, might I suggest checkin out Ponyville? Its only a couple minutes west." Applejack suggested Nicole was surprised by this, but upon further inspection she noticed there was a trail leading in that direction. "Oh, well thank you very much then." She began to head west, and heard Applejack shout from behind her. "Good luck, and Y'all come back soon, ya hear?" Eventually, she reached Ponyville. It was a big bigger than she had imagined, and definitely more colorful. There were Ponies everywhere, and they all seemed so cheerful. The town was so busy though, and she had no clue where to go. She looked around her and noticed a building marked "Library". Well, it was less of a building and more of a tree house. She decided to go there, and maybe learn something about this strange planet. She entered the tree, but to her surprise there was nobody inside. She shrugged it off, and galloped over to a shelf marked "history". She grabbed a book called "The creation of Equestria" and placed on a table. It was then that she was faced with the problem of opening the book. She tried lifting the cover with her snout, but to no avail. "Uhh, ma'am? Why don't you just use your magic to turn the pages?" Said a purple unicorn, who had just come down from the second floor. Nicole stood still and thought for a second, and then realized something. She had a horn; she was a unicorn. How she hadn't noticed this before she wasn't sure, but she didn't want to spend time beating herself up about it. Instead she decided to test out this newly discovered horn of hers. Unsurprisingly, after a bit of concentration she was able to telekinectically lift the cover. Without wasting any time, she quickly dived into the book. |
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| Wallace | May 24 2011, 01:51 PM Post #7 |
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Break out the L-word. The other L-word.
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Cool, but I have to give you a brief lesson on how to speak Texan: "y'all" is "you all" shortened. So does it make sense for Applejack to be talking to ONLY Nicole but calling her "y'all"? You have been learned, son. |
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| Lord English | May 24 2011, 02:07 PM Post #8 |
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Sandopolis Act 2
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Actually, I'm pretty sure in the show she has said that a couple times when only talking to one pony 
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| Wallace | May 24 2011, 02:16 PM Post #9 |
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Break out the L-word. The other L-word.
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That means the show got it wrong and regardless you should correct it. |
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