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Round 2 - Zak vs. Adrian
Topic Started: Oct 2 2009, 06:57 PM (820 Views)
Zak Oct 11 2009, 02:08 PM Post #16
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For The Circle
 Time seemed to slow down for Zak As he watched the sword approach, spinning like a buzz saw. He didn't dare try to jump over it, all he'd do was cut his legs off. Try to dodge to the side, and the same would happen to his arms. Stay were he was, well, obviously that wouldn't help at all. His last barrage of ice shards had left him with a dangerously low amount of mana. If he tried to preform another spell, he'd run out of mana, and his magic would have to feed of something else...his life force, which right now, wasn't at a high level either.

Still, if he did not use his powers, he'd die for sure, but Zak knew from the countless hours of studying that his grandfather had put him through, that a death by magic feeding of your life force was the absolute worst, slowest, and most painful way to die. The decision came down to this; die by his own power, or die by horrible wound. How does someone make such a decision?

Then again, the decision would be simple to any other person. Die the less painful way of course. But there was that infernal gas. That noxious essence that murdered all you reasoning. That wretched odor that would destroy all common sense, the gas had reached Zak, and it had made the hedgehog do the stupid thing. Zak moved his hands up in a "wave" motion as fast as he could, hopeful that the rising slab of stone would block the sword.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. The situation just went from bad to worse. Not only was Zak right, he didn't have enough mana to preform the action safely, but what was worse was that the lack of mana had made the wall weak, and so while the sword fell to the ground, chunks of rock flew at Zak. The hedgehog was getting stoned. He fell to the floor, to weak to get up, to weak to move, to weak to do anything, he barely had enough energy to think. So this is it? He thought. This is where it ends. I always thought I'd die doing something a little more important than competing in a stupid tournament. So much for that dream. Zak literally had no hope left. he was gonna die and he knew it. It would be a slow death, unless his opponent came to finish the job. He lied there on the floor. waiting. waiting to die.
"Ati Ramar, In defeat we learn."
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Lord DragonFlame Oct 12 2009, 07:48 AM Post #17
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Christmas is back again

Breathe in, breathe out.
The awful air felt like acid in his mouth. Or was it his own blood. No matter.
The sound echoed in his own ears as the sword connected with the wall with a clang. Struck with fear Adrian watched the wall crumble on his own master who possessed such sorcery. What left out of his own will to stand, led him forwards, with stomach ache and blood carried like a stripe within his trail.

Even so his footwork had seen better times. His sword had been recovered, and now bot would gaze upon each other. Even if he wouldn't be allowed such without a boo in return. Yet he couldn't finish him off. Nor in this state had he so much as will to accomplish such a lethal move.
Yet the tournament wouldn't last without some bloodshed.

The crowds raised their voices. "Strike, Strike...." Yet the wolf turned around from his rival, now looking at the window with hundreds of folks.

All of them become white as blank sheet, before he stumbled onto his knees. "Short and swift eh?"
Before he cracked in a lying position. It's like a draw without a victor. Who's heart would fail first would be counted as defeated.
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Lord Bowie Oct 14 2009, 06:11 AM Post #18
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What is the difference between a duck?

 "C'MON KILL EM!"

Sadistic chimed in with the audience as Zak fell to the unavoidable desperation attack. Sitting on the edge of his seat he grinned widely, exposing the sharp teeth only a demon so sinister could possess.

"DON'T BE GUTLESS..." and then Adrian stumbled and fell under his own weakness. "..Damn it...." His smile receded to an unimpressed frown. The audience's discontent was growing as they threw anything they could at the tank in protest, a few of the demons even throwing smaller demons at the walls.

"Well folks.. it looks like we have to see who goes first-" their yelling completely drowning out his voice.. "Be quiet and let me speak..." they didn't hear as they continued to direct rage at the tank. "SILENCE I SAID!" Rows 3 and 4 of the northwest section of the arena exploded to the sound of his yell, sending bodies flying. That got the attention of every last demonic head in attendance. "UNLESS...." His eyes scanned the arena to assure complete attention "Unless you want to end up like them... you'll behave like good uncivilized beasts. You care too much for blood to observe and notice the little things. As of right now, they're still fighting, yet indirectly.. who can withstand the gas longer and make it to the next round....."

He sits back in his chair and observes their pain and suffocation with glee. "Even I'm interested."
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Lord Bowie Oct 19 2009, 11:04 PM Post #19
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What is the difference between a duck?

 MATCH PERIOD OVER, JUDICIAL REVIEW UNDERWAY
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Stop by my art thread ----------------------------------------------- SUPER DA PAGE
WARNING: Above Post May Contain Sarcastic/Harsh/Stupid/Offensive/Idiotic/Blasphemous Content. Deal With It.
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Lord Tora Unlimited Crusader Nov 8 2009, 06:50 PM Post #20
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【The Knight of Tigers 】

 Zak

Fair Play: 9/10
- You took some hits, and that last defence against the thrown sword was EXCELLENTLY executed; even though you avoided dying, you still took enough damage to be meaningful about it. Still, you kinda detected DF's stealth attack a bit unrealistically, and most of the first couple hits were merely scratches.
Grammar: 6/10
- Most of your posts were big chunks of text as opposed to proper paragraphs (though you did use paragraphs in a couple of your posts). Also, there's quite a few counts of misspelling and bad grammar, specifically not capitalising the start of sentences during dialogue or capitalising 'I'. And then there's the ever-present 'not beginning a new paragraph when someone speaks', but it strikes me that very few people do that around here for some reason, so you're not alone. I dunno, it's a basic rule of grammar, so why isn't it as pervasive as it should be? Eh, I could rant on about that, but I won't.
Adaptation to Environment: 6/10
- The gas noticeably reduced your visibility in the beginning and you even altered your tactics out of fear of blowing up the entire arena (it's not flammable by the way ;) ) and later when the gas' disorienting effects caused your character to do something 'stupid' XD . Not an awful lot of mention, but it was still good.
Entertainment: 8/10
- Triple post made me laugh. XD Joking aside, your inclusion of mana and the effects of spellcasting on your character made for an interesting read and your reaction to Adrian's sudden disappearance and the subsequent frantic assault was well played.


DF

Fair Play: 10/10
- Took a good deal of damage, didn't force anything on your opponent and you even opened yourself up a bit by wasting most of your resources in that first post. O_O
Grammar: 8/10
- Some misspelling here and there and hiccups with past/present tense. Aside from that, well-written.
Adaptation to Environment: 5/10
- Definitely showed some reduced visibility when firing your arrows and you did mention the scent a couple times after that, but there wasn't really much about the actual effects.
Entertainment: 7/10
- Some nice stealth attack tactics in there and you put your usual high amount of effort into description and such in your posts. Nothing awfully flashy this time around, but still pretty good.

All in all, it was a good match, made all the more interesting by a little bit of altered perception and a pair of characters with greatly different tactics. The score so far stands at;

DF - 30
Zak - 29
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Lord Bowie Nov 22 2009, 12:19 PM Post #21
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What is the difference between a duck?

 Zak

Fair Play: 9/10
- Outside of the whole Stealth attack quirk you did a real nice job. Took a real beating for sure.

Grammar: 7/10
- Again, I don't wish to personally dock points for not beginning a new line when someone speaks.. it is grammatical but I consider the "new line for speaking" to be more essential for something in the likeness of book writing or school essays. You did have some misspelling and capitalization issues like mentioned as well.

Adaptation to Environment: 8/10
- I liked that Zak was worried about the repercussions of possibly setting the gas ablaze and fine tuning his tactics to account for that, keeping you off balance for most of the match when there was really no threat. Along with blurry vision and brain impaired stupidness I think you did a solid enough job here to have a nice score.

Entertainment: 8/10
- I really liked the inclusion of mana and the overall thought process of your character.. especially the "stupid" part. =P There were a couple hiccups when you made a smaller submission (fixed by a triple post that made me laugh in one part) but overall, solid material. Nice read, you played off of Adrian well.


Adrian

Fair Play: 10/10
- You played down from the start and were realistic about your actions from then on out. Both you and Zak took a great beating and It's great to see outside of the fact that I know me or TUC will probably have to play janitor afterward. XD
Grammar: 7/10
- Like what was mentioned, just some spelling issues and the past/present switch up from time to time, along with the occasional missing comma and some questionable starts to sentences (where a comma would have been better than outright cutting off the previous sentence. Really nice overall, just needs a bit more refining to get a bump up.
Adaptation to Environment: 7/10
- The gas affected your sight from time to time with your arrow play but outside of catching a whiff of it now and then (which should contribute to more delusions over time) it really played a fairly limited role. In your last post I do see Breathe in, Breathe Out though, and then the gas tearing through your mouth and lungs was a new way of interpreting it. Another plus was that you incorporated the crowd near the end as well, it wasn't huge but "environment" is everything around you and the crowd definitely counts. All of the little details help your score stay presentable.
Entertainment: 8/10
- I liked what I saw in your drive to compete through your writing. There were some slower instances that broke the flow for me but overall your style and attention to certain details helped keep you afloat despite.

Zak - 29+32= 61
Adrian - 30+32= 62

It was another close match for sure but in the end I couldn't see enough in my judging to do more than pull the both of you into a draw, therefore keeping the former lead of one point intact. Adrian wins based on score and will be returned to the cafeteria, Zak will be sent to the void, which should finally start becoming active as of Round 3. Me and TUC will be awaiting your decision (over PM) to write an end post for us to submit, or having us finish the match.

Nice job by the both of you and, with some minor refining, either of you could strengthen your chances as contenders in this, and future, tournaments.

Winner - Adrian
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WARNING: Above Post May Contain Sarcastic/Harsh/Stupid/Offensive/Idiotic/Blasphemous Content. Deal With It.
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Lord Bowie Nov 24 2009, 10:19 PM Post #22
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What is the difference between a duck?

 Slow deaths bore me when I'm nor directly involved...

Sadistic tapped his fingers against his chair repeatedly, waiting for either Zak or Adrian to finally fail. Both had strong wills, however, and neither was going to go until there was absolutely nothing left... and every minute of waiting chipped away at his notorious impatience. With a slam of his fist onto the arm of the chair, he signaled his desire to get the show on the road, transporting himself into arena with the both of them. He took in a large breath, admiring his handiwork.

Nothin like the smell of crazy to get one in a killin' mood. Seriously guys, as much as I'd LOVE to watch you guys bleed out, my time is too valuable to be kept waiting for such an absurd amount of time...

His words were laced with sarcasm and the feeling of his own superiority as he towered over their battered bodies. Pacing slowly, he extended his left pointer finger into it's more lethal blade form, periodically pointing from one combatant to the other, gauging the audiences desire of who to kill. The crowd was in a frenzy and seemed to not care either way, cheering wildly with each gesture.

Eeny. Meeny. Miny... you His finger pointing at Adrian by sequence end. With intentions unknown, he approached the down wolf with a dark grin, keeping the sharp point by his neck...

You're lucky... you're on to the next round. You get to fight again! Making a sarcastic "^^" face, he snaps his fingers, the grated floor failing under Zak, sending him into the abyss. .. But only barely.

*Snap*

At his snap, the living combatant was teleported back to the Cafeteria to prepare for the next round. Sadistic stood alone in the arena, looking with grim happiness to the cheering crowd, separated only by glass.

Pawns in a big game of chess... one by one.. all the pieces will fall until only the black king is left.. He stares around as he whispers these lines to himself.. ..the inevitable checkmate is on its way.
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Stop by my art thread ----------------------------------------------- SUPER DA PAGE
WARNING: Above Post May Contain Sarcastic/Harsh/Stupid/Offensive/Idiotic/Blasphemous Content. Deal With It.
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What's the difference between a champion and a challenger.. a challenger is trying to become, a champion became.
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