The =SB= Epic Joke Rating Thread

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The =SB= Epic Joke Rating Thread; Phunky or Phail, it goes here ^_^
Tweet Topic Started: Apr 7 2008, 12:35 PM (954 Views)
Kitm	Apr 7 2008, 12:35 PM Post #1
Lava Reef Act 1 Posts: 2,977 Group: =SB= Governors Member #1,073 Joined: May 18, 2007 Gender: Male Country: Canada Game Currently Playing: Destiny	Welcome to the =SB= Epic joke thread! Whether it be an epic phail, or an epic phunny, post it here! Warning:All offensive material should contain a warning of some sort!



~~Eprahim~~	Apr 7 2008, 12:36 PM Post #2
Lava Reef Act 2 Posts: 4,075 Group: Game Over :( Member #3,768 Joined: November 21, 2007	Jessica Fletcher facts! 1) If you kill a mosquito, Jessica Fletcher will know it. Be sure of it. 2) Even Chuck Norris worries when Jessica Fletcher passes by. 3) Jessica Fletcher can know who you are simply by seeing your IP adress. 4) Jessica Fletcher knows everything. Even the last time you went to the bathroom. She realised that watching the color of your grandfather's tie. 5) Jessica Fletcher can understand the assassin in a crime book simply watching the cover. Of another book. 6) If you want to know with who your girlfriend betrays you, call Jessica Fletcher and make her listen to her intro. Jessica Fletcher can discover mysteries even without a clue! 7) Jessica Fletcher didn't learn the Time Tables. She discovered them alone! 8) Jessica Fletcher discovered hot water! 9) When Jessica Fletcher passes by, the only ones who are happy are the undertakers. 10) In the police station, when they want a person to confess her crimes, they make her listen to the intro of Jessica Fletcher. 11) The girl from the ring, when she phoned, wanted to make people listen to the intro of Jessica Fletcher. She changed idea: that was too cruel! 12) When a black cat crosses the street, he checks that there isn't Jessica Fletcher near. 13) Jessica Fletcher's family members are 47% of World Population. 14) Jessica Fletcher was born to reduce the size of this family. 15) Where Jessica Fletcher passes by, grass does not grow anymore. 16) If Jessica comes in your city, stay on guard. 17) In Cabot Cove, population divides in 49% assassins, 49% victims, 2% Jessica Fletcher, Sheriff and Doctor. 18) Every day, 15 minutes to noon someone dies. 19) Every person that meets Jessica read 20 or more of her books. 20) Jessica Fletcher is watching you.



Kitm	Apr 7 2008, 12:40 PM Post #3
Lava Reef Act 1 Posts: 2,977 Group: =SB= Governors Member #1,073 Joined: May 18, 2007 Gender: Male Country: Canada Game Currently Playing: Destiny	Redneck pickup line: Hey! Nice tooth!



SuperShadowgal	Apr 7 2008, 12:46 PM Post #4
The Female Ultimate Life Form! Posts: 3,112 Group: E Rank Legend Member #59 Joined: April 29, 2006	Forgot how some of these go...: One day there was a blonde and a brunette out walking in the woods. They came across a set of tracks. "I know what these are, these are deer tracks." say the blonde. "You're wrong," says the brunette, "My daddy is a hunter and these are elk tracks." The two continue back and forth, arguing over what tracks are there. Suddenly, a train comes barreling down the tracks and runs them both over. ---------------------------------------------- There were two blondes going to Disneyland and the sign read "Disneyland left" so they went home. --------------------------------------------- Mature Warning: do not read if you cannot handle the mature content below. This joke works better when spoken allowed. There was a man busy working outside when his young daughter came over. "Hey daddy, what's sex?" asks the girl. The dad pauses for a moment and then begins to discuss to his daughter the birds and bees. After he finishes he asks, "Why did you ask?" "Well, mommy said dinner would be ready in a couple of secs, so she wanted me to come tell you."
	The navigation (links): Sonic FCs /\|\ Art /\|\ Hug? /\|\ Awesome /\|\ Free Cake /\|\ Internets /\|\ My Adoptables Latest blog entry: SSG Plays Pokemon White Version 2! Part 3! (11/3/12) =Outdated Help the dragons grow big and stwong. There used to be music here ~*


Lady theori	Apr 7 2008, 03:50 PM Post #5
all systems go Posts: 2,969 Group: Former Monarchs Member #482 Joined: January 18, 2007	How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
	f r e e d o m


Duckroll	Apr 7 2008, 05:05 PM Post #6
AS IF Posts: 4,604 Group: A Rank Legend Member #533 Joined: February 2, 2007	Pyramid Head walks into a bar. The barman says: "why the long face?" There were no survivors
	Kaki\|DA


neoaptt	Apr 7 2008, 05:23 PM Post #7
"dead man walking" Posts: 395 Group: E Rank Knight Member #5,689 Joined: February 6, 2008	* two red necks at there mother's funural * Harry: Hey Hurburt! This ain't mama! Hurburt: Yah it is! They just cut off her beard. Harry: Awh! And they tuke her bud light too! Hurburt: I was hoping for that last drop of it! Harry: Anyways lets go! Hurburt: Why? Harry: I'm hammered. Hurburt: But wouldn't be safer if you drive? Harry: Why? I'm drunk. Hurburt: Yah but i'm near sited. Harry: How many fingers am i holding up? hold up two fingers Hurburt: Tatore tots... sighs and gets in the car. He backs up into the gurage about 5 seconds from the cemitary. Nice trip. hears some yelling Harry: I think thats bob and george! both walk over to the fighting George: You stool my pig! Bob: You stole my pig!! George: Well you stole my wife! Bob: Don't blame me if she finds a man with more teeth atractive. George: But she's your cousin! Bob: So, she's your sister! both storm off a rawring engine is heard in the background Harry: Its the Fuds! Hurburt: Did they kill that rabit yet? Harry: I don't know. Every since they went into a gang. They have been doing some hard core stuff. Hurburt: Like wah? Harry: Like some drive byes! Hurburt: Oh man! I hope those dears are allright! Expeciliy jimmy! Harry: I think that's jimmies car! Hurburt: Oh man. At the furneral home again Hurburt: Dam where is jimmy? Harry: Dono. Maybe they ate him. Hurburt: Wait, check under moma! Harry tries to lift up moma. Harry: Dam shes heavy! You thought with all that life o sucktion. Hurburt: Hey i think i saw moma move. Harry: Wodn't be the first time we barried her alive.



Lady theori	Apr 7 2008, 05:28 PM Post #8
all systems go Posts: 2,969 Group: Former Monarchs Member #482 Joined: January 18, 2007	^That was good. I lol'd. What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing - you already told her twice.
	f r e e d o m


Lady BlizShadow	Apr 7 2008, 05:49 PM Post #9
I still can't use this. Posts: 6,546 Group: Former Monarchs Member #6,722 Joined: March 16, 2008	So, two men are going hunting in the forest. During the trip, one of them collapses and his friend immediately takes out his cell phone and dials 911. Operator: What's the emergency? Hunter: My partner just fell out! I think he's dead! Operator: Calm down. First, take care to make sure he is really dead. A gun shot rings out. Hunter: Okay, now what? -------------------------- Your mom's teeth are so crooked, every time she smiles, she looks like she's holding up gang signs.
	Because staff made me do it. =P Art Topic ~ Drawing Tutorial ~ The Seven Chaos Forum


neoaptt	Apr 7 2008, 06:53 PM Post #10
"dead man walking" Posts: 395 Group: E Rank Knight Member #5,689 Joined: February 6, 2008	Juke Box Hero Apr 7 2008, 07:28 PM ^That was good. I lol'd. Yah thats my tallent show skit with my friend. I'm hurburt. He's harry (quite literally) We got hurburt from when moma ate shurburt. We got harry. Since he's harry!



wowzaa1	Apr 7 2008, 08:55 PM Post #11
You are never quite the person you think you are Posts: 3,081 Group: E Rank Legend Member #4,510 Joined: December 22, 2007	Your mom is so stupid, when she saw the sign "16 and over" she went home and got 15 friends. Fugliest joke ever.



Duckroll	Apr 7 2008, 09:03 PM Post #12
AS IF Posts: 4,604 Group: A Rank Legend Member #533 Joined: February 2, 2007	Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says "But, Doctor... "...I am Pagliacci."
	Kaki\|DA


Jacob	Apr 7 2008, 09:04 PM Post #13
Hardcore critic. Posts: 235 Group: C Rank Guardian Member #7,016 Joined: March 30, 2008	for bliz. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ja-dg89wr-s a video for that joke
	Annoy me and i'll bite your head off. * Warning. Hardcore critic posting* Friends: None. ( The mighty Jacob needs no friends)


Duckroll	Apr 7 2008, 09:10 PM Post #14
AS IF Posts: 4,604 Group: A Rank Legend Member #533 Joined: February 2, 2007	Jacob Apr 7 2008, 09:04 PM for bliz. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ja-dg89wr-s a video for that joke A video for a video... For a joke. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GeknTzuHxnw
	Kaki\|DA


~~Venoma3d~~	Apr 8 2008, 04:20 AM Post #15
Lava Reef Act 2 Posts: 4,447 Group: Game Over :( Member #2,895 Joined: October 13, 2007	No more Rednecks D: There's an vid http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=GuMMfgWhm3g



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