Stop Making Movies About My Books

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Stop Making Movies About My Books
Tweet Topic Started: Apr 5 2008, 08:27 PM (253 Views)
Duckroll	Apr 5 2008, 08:27 PM Post #1
AS IF Posts: 4,604 Group: A Rank Legend Member #533 Joined: February 2, 2007	* On the fourteenth of March, in towns nationwide, * In every cinema, multiplex, on every barnside, * Gleamed another adapting of one of my books, * CGI-ed and digitized by another sly crook. * Horton, my favorite—look how he's been treated! * Stuffed with tinsels and tassels and promptly excreted! * The puns! And the filler! The script fees you must save! * While I tumble and grum-humble around in my grave. * Did you learn all but squat from The Cat In The Hat? * Please tell me you fired the prick who made that. * I would have stopped writing, maybe sold Goodyear tires. * If I knew one dark day I'd costar with Mike Myers. * And Oh! * Oh, dear! Oh! * My poor Grinch, what they've done! * They crammed in live-action and snuffed out all the fun! * It's icky, it's tacky, it's awkward, it's wrong. * The Whos look like ferrets, it's an hour too long. * What a rotten idea to spend millions destroying * This masterful tale kids spent decades enjoying! * But still you keep making them! * Just how do you dare? * Sell my life's work off piecemeal * To every Tom, Dic.k, and Har'. * Why it's simply an outrage—a crime, you must judge!— * To crap on my books with this big-budget sludge. * My books are for children to learn ones and twos in, * Not commercialous slop for Jim Carrey to ruin. * Have you no respect for the gems of your youth? * To pervert them on screen from Taiwan to Duluth. * Even after you drag my last word through the dirt, * I know you, you pirates, * You'd cut out my heart for a "Thing 1" T-shirt. * For eighty-some years I held you vultures at bay, * knowing just how you'd franchise my good name some day. * Not yet cold in my grave before you starting shooting * the first of my classics you'd acquired for looting. * Mrs. Seuss, that old stoofus, began selling more rights * to Dreamworks, Universal—any hack in her sights. * First The Cat In The Hat and then this, that and Seussical * without a thought to be picky, selectish, or choosical. * So to Audrey, you w,hore, you sad sack of a wife: * Listen close. Pay attention, for once in your life. * You give Fox In Sox to those sharks who made Elf * And so help me, I'll rise up and kill you myself. * No Sneetches by Sony— * No One Fish: On Ice— * Burn that Hop On Pop II script not one time but twice. * Don't sex up my prose with Alyssa Milano… * And no Green Eggs And Ham with that one-note Romano! * This must stop! This must end! Don't you see what you're doing? * You're defiling the work I spent ages accruing. * And when it's dried up and you've sucked out your pay * There'll be no going back to a simpler day, * When your mom would give Horton a voice extra deep, * And turn the last page as you drifted to sleep. * Instead you'll have boxed sets, sh.it movies, and… well, * You'll have plenty to watch while you're burning in h.ell. [LINK]
	Kaki\|DA


Lord Tora Unlimited Crusader	Apr 5 2008, 08:31 PM Post #2
【The Knight of Tigers 】 Posts: 5,462 Group: Former Monarchs Member #6,733 Joined: March 17, 2008 Gender: Male Country: Australia 3DS Friend Code: 0404-6433-6113 Steam ID: crusaderandtimothy	I find your ideas intruiging and wish to subscribe to your magazine.
	Check out my tumblr, Aggravated Anime-Adoring Australian, where I post all sorts of dumb screencaps and MS Paint edits and generally bitch and moan about stupid otaku shit. ~One third of =SB='s Legendary Australian Trio. The man who surpassed anime fandom and became the Patron Saint of GAR and Moe.~


Katsuko	Apr 5 2008, 09:22 PM Post #3
Sandopolis Act 1 Posts: 1,687 Group: S Rank Hero Member #1,933 Joined: August 14, 2007 Gender: Male	All my <3s belong to Onion.
	<3 All you need is love <3


Lord DragonFlame	Apr 6 2008, 03:28 AM Post #4
Christmas is back again Posts: 17,411 Group: Former Monarchs Member #348 Joined: December 9, 2006 Gender: Male Steam ID: Warzak85DF	Whoever made up his mind about movies transferring from books is hurting some writers in a degree they speak with a foul word. It was almost like a good poem to me. :mellow:
	Working on banner, but if your looking to have some time off. Come, visit my channel on youtube. Warzak85DF's Let's Play corner


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