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| A cover up; What happened most of my childhood | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 28 2008, 06:58 PM (453 Views) | |
| Gristle | Mar 28 2008, 06:58 PM Post #1 |
Ice Cap Act 1
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Like any of you would care, but here goes anyways. I was pretty average when I was little, up until grades two and three when everybody started getting into "good" stuff. Swearing went around, typical kid stuff basically. lol When I was born the doctors wanted to drug me up with all kinds of "adult meds". All cause they told my mum I had autism, which I don't at all. It was an unnofficial diagnosis at the time and was just starting to become known...only around doctors that is. The only reason the doctors did was just to give out their meds like typical American doctors. This is Canada for christs sake! Why the hell would they try to get rid of their meds? The only excuse they came up with for trying to stuff me with pills, was that I liked to flap my arms alot. <_< The whole arms thing stopped when I was like 2 years old. So whats the big deal? How this is tied into my kid life? I'm getting there. My mum took it deep into herself (the diagnosis). Whenever I would get into a typical fight at school (which everyone does) she would take me to see "specialists." Then she would ground me for two whole months. Even if she didn't label me, I would have still gotten homeschooled and completely shielded from being a normal kid like everyone else. I don't know why she stuck with the label, I mean, it was kinda pointless. Because both her and my dad just used it as an excuse to blindfold me. For years I actually thought I did not function well with people, when really it was perfectly normal for that age! I didn't have many friends because I could not be friends with "cool kids" BECAUSE my parents would **Bleep** to me that they were "bad" and "unmoral" and "religously incorrect" or something. Yes they are religious. My dad not so much though.. Back to the school thing. They pulled me out of school in early grade 3 and I was homeschooled until grade 5. Then I was pulled out again in grade 5, I'll tell you the reason why. I was forced to be weak and "a jesus boy". I was forced to not defend myself, to be morally good and STUPID! Deep down inside I knew that. So what happened after awhile of some kids beating me up, I literally lost it during Jim. Beat him hard until he was on the floor crying his eyes out. He respected me deeply after that, and I was happy. But my mum went absolutely nuts! She called specialists to try and get me "back to the moral and spiritual way." Also, the sudden release of bottled up rage made me very depressed, and I suddenly found myself not wanting to do school at all... I've always been one to feel other peoples pain easily...  It was confusing times too.I've gotten over it now, because I can easily gain respect and defend myself if someone wants to beat me up. But for a long time after that event in grade 5, I was blindfolded and frowned upon for being what every other kid is like... How would you feel if you could not have friends...to just be a kid...to just have fun...to just live...How would it feel for you, if you were forced to be submissive and weak? And not out just having fun and living life...? <_< |
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| Duckroll | Mar 29 2008, 07:25 AM Post #16 |
AS IF
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Don't go Columbine on us plz |
 Kaki|DA | |
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Mar 29 2008, 07:32 AM Post #17 |
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Banned
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Huh? |
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| Duckroll | Mar 29 2008, 07:35 AM Post #18 |
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AS IF
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Columbine= school shooting Don't shoot up your school yo. |
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Kaki|DA | |
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Mar 29 2008, 08:09 AM Post #19 |
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Banned
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Oh,  . I was kidding. I just need a way to show I'm not fat,weak or gay.....
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| Lady theori | Mar 29 2008, 08:12 AM Post #20 |
all systems go
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Yes, because physical violence gets you EVERYWHERE. And it PROVES YOUR MANLINESS! \m/ /sarcasm How about finding a better way to solve your problems? Like AVOIDING the kid. It works like a charm. The less of a response he gets from you, the more frustrated he gets. Or you could just sock him in the face and call it a day. I mean, after all, you've become twice the man you were this morning. |
 f r e e d o m | |
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Mar 29 2008, 08:34 AM Post #21 |
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Banned
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Okay, one, he HAS to be next to me in line. 2, I was planning to do that, oh and he's a snitch so it'll be hard. |
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| sMy PANCAKES | Mar 29 2008, 09:16 AM Post #22 |
Self-loathing optimist.
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Alright, I understand where you're coming from, but thats our generation. Pumped full of meds and unable to let out aggression. That is why we have these school shootings. People who can't figure out how to cope with their ordeals have to snap and take out innocent bystanders in their wake. It's sad, I know. But you just have to deal with it. People suck these days. They have no soul. They let the media decide their lives and can't compile a single though by themselves. But dude, DON'T LET IT GET TO YOU. Thats how they win. I'm a loner myself. I have friends, but I prefer isolation. Just take a walk in the woods or go and look at the world. Its... healthy. Vent your built up anger through productivity. I for one like to draw and paint. And that my friend lets it all that anger and frustration seep out and dissapate. |
  "You look like a queen, but you talk like a pawn..." | |
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Mar 29 2008, 09:26 AM Post #23 |
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Banned
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You've helped 2 people batter(XD ) I feel like drawing.......... the death of my enemies. |
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| clintrussell | Mar 29 2008, 09:34 AM Post #24 |
Mushroom Hill Act 2
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Someone needs a therapist... Just don't let insults bother you. Normally they're making fun of you cause they're insecure about themselves. Just be you and don't care what people say. |
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| Royal Conquest | Mar 29 2008, 09:38 AM Post #25 |
CANADIAN EH
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Well... heh, there's alot of ways to deal with jerkbag kids like that. Elementary + Me = Kid who's bullied most. Through elementary, I was bullied so frigin much, to the point where I was usually alone. I'm amazed im not some kinda psycho emo kid who wants to kill everyone. I think I'm not like that, because I try to live by forgive and forget. Although it's hard, I usually pull it off. A kid who picked on me the most, Is now my good friend cuz he realized he was being a jerk and apoligized for about a month. Don't beat the crap out of someone, it's just gonna get you in trouble, and if your the one always beat up, you know how it feels right? Don't do it to others. Heh, I prolly sound stupid but w/e thats my opinion |
My new RP! =D Come on and join up it's been so long! 
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Mar 29 2008, 09:42 AM Post #26 |
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Banned
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Hence the laugh. Not only was I talking about SMyPancakes. |
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| sMy PANCAKES | Mar 29 2008, 10:00 AM Post #27 |
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Self-loathing optimist.
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Hums? Que? |
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"You look like a queen, but you talk like a pawn..." | |
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| Lady theori | Mar 29 2008, 10:18 AM Post #28 |
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all systems go
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Can you translate what you just said because I can't understand what the hell you mean by "you've helped 2 people batter". |
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f r e e d o m | |
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Mar 29 2008, 10:23 AM Post #29 |
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Banned
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Batter is my nickname for Pancake. |
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| Gristle | Mar 31 2008, 11:02 AM Post #30 |
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Ice Cap Act 1
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Did I forget to say that I got no pills shoved down me. But I was forced to be weak and to not defend myself. The doctors WANTED to give me pills, but I got no pills because my parents were and still are deeply against it. Religion is to blame here...Well, both religion and diagnosis are to blame. Not pills. I've never had to take any kinds of drugs my whole life as a matter of fact. lol I'm a pretty naturally grown guy...Just angry with the fact that my life was nothing but a big cover-up... that I couldn't live the kid-life that I wanted to live... I wish I was more curious about things that other kids did. That way I would have been able to expose myself to certain things, so I could link myself too "good friends". But f**k does religion ever put pressure on you. :o I wish I could go back somehow with the willpower, the courage and the curiosity I have now. And put it all straight.. Btw, there was this one time when I was little, I came home with a ripped shirt and some bad cuts...I told my mum about it and she asked "did you tell the teachers?" I said "yeah I did". BUT I DIDNT WANT TO TELL THE darn TEACHERS! I wanted to beat those motherf***** to the f***ing ground! Like what everyone else did! I wanted to be strong! My mind was going crazy... I am strong now, but I wish I could have been strong a lot sooner in my life... And no I do not pick fights, defence is the word. Its taken me years to figure all this out. And the older I get with each year now, the more I come to realize that my past life was nothing but a lie. A lie thats almost destroyed my happiness. The only thing in the world that I will thank my parents for, is for not putting me on those drugs. Who knows what I would have ended up like today if I was on em. :duh: Religion has screwed me up, my fascist parents have screwed me up, my parents making me believe I had autism has screwed me up. What else can I say? I certainly do not fit with any symptoms of aspergers. In fact I dont even think the disease exists. The symptoms are nothing more than descriptions of a common introvert/nerd My parents today, instead of giving me courage and strength, tell me to go on welfare, to live the rest of my life as a bum/leech. I keep telling them I am more than capable to handle myself. Hell they even made me see a skills testing team, and I passed big time! Why the hell do they want me to be weak? And if their reason is "just cause they love me" then they can just go f**k themselves. I am not their personal "pet" that they can "take care of" all the time. |
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