Toxic Waste Roses

The Happy Hole

I climb, fashioning a ladder out of my memories.
Each rung constantly reminding me
Where I've been
Where and when.

I climb, faster and faster through each gap
Growing wider and wider, deeper and deeper
The top is the end. The happy happy
The bottom is the end, from where I began
Where I've been
Where and when.

A pleasurable pain sweeps over my being with each advancement
It takes me by surprised, and yet, I feel as though I've planned it

I am near it. The top. The happy happy I've dreamed of.
Making new rungs as I go
I battle my way to the final rung
I climb over the ledge, over the top
I find myself at the bottom of the happy hole
Where I've been
Where and when.

I record my progress, the fifth tally
I've climbed this ladder once per tally
It always brings me back again
And always grows taller
Always more painful to climb
But never gets me out of my happy hole
My miserable happy hole
Where I've been
Where and when.

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